Sean's Recipe for Coleslaw

My recipe for the most unhappy food in the world:

1. Take a dispirited cabbage and cut into misery-sized chunks.
2. Stir in something, anything, white; house paint will be fine.
3. Serve soggy.

For added effect leave it next to some happier, smiling foods like tomatoes and hard boiled eggs. This will add an extra sense of atmosphere.